Needed: Positiveness and Peace

Miracles happen, right? Well, we are in need of one... a BIG one! Earlier today Negative Nancy and her friend Punk-Ass Panic entered our home. My initial reaction was to run like hell, but then their other friend, Devilish Doubt, settled in and after a short while I found myself sitting on the couch in tears and embracing all three :(. This journey for a baby is exhausting... physically, mentally, and emotionally.

To bring you up to date from last week, here are my stats:
Friday 7/8: E2 was 24, Endo lining was 2.5, Ultrasound was clear = green light to start the stimulation meds (Gonal-F and Menopur)
Tuesday 7/12: E2 was 42 = low, no Ultrasound today.
Thursday 7/14: E2 was 71 = low, Endo lining was 3.85, Ultrasound showed 1 follicle at 11mm, 1 follicle at 9.5mm, 2 follicles at 7.5mm, and then a few smaller follicles.
So what does all this mean? It means either low response to the meds, slow response to the meds, or both low and slow response to the meds. Basically, the E2 number should be doubling each time I go in. And as you can see from my results, mine aren't. The nurse said that my low E2 was somewhat expected given my low ovarian reserve. However, they would really like to see my level closer to or greater than 100 at this point. When I left the doctors office this morning I was in positive spirits and somewhat relieved to at least see some response on the ultrasound. But then when I got the phone call about my E2 level this afternoon, my positive spirit crashed and burned... in spite of the nurse telling me that there is still time for things to progress... I have only been stimulating for 5 of the possible 10 to 12 days.

I go back to the doctor on Saturday, so we will see. I am praying that my E2 level, Endo lining, and follicle numbers and size all increase. As long as things continue to increase, our cycle should be okay. But if things stall out, then there is a good chance our cycle will end before it really begins. And thus where positiveness and peace is needed... I want so badly to be hopeful that things will pick up and that come April 2012 we will have a new addition (and not a furry one) to our family. So those of you that are praying for us, please don't stop! I feel like I might need them now more than ever. Until next time...